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Action/reaction
Write actions and their reactions in chronological order.
Not:
She read the letter after she opened it.
But:
She opened the letter and read it.
Adverbs
Do a search for "ly" and edit as many adverbs as possible. The strongest, most powerful writing uses few adverbs because adverbs assist weak verbs, which should be replaced with stronger, more accurate verbs.
Not:
He spoke softly and gently.
But:
He whispered.
Another way to resolve the "adverb problem" is to rewrite the sentence.
Not:
He wrote magnificently, and his essays gained the respect of all.
But:
He wrote magnificent essays, respected by all.
Begin at left margin
It is customary to begin a story or novel at the left margin, and to return to the left margin for each new chapter or scene. Leave one extra space between scenes.
Begin to
Don't have characters "begin to" do things. Have them take direct action.
Not:
They began to speak
But:
They spoke...
Crying, sobbing and tears
Crying, sobbing, and tears are considered clichéd and melodramatic. How else can you
show the emotion?
Not:
"Please don't do it," she cried, and fell sobbing to her knees.
But:
Her grip on his arm tightened and her voice grew raspy. "Please don't do it."
Decide to
Don't have people “decide to” do things. Just have them take action.
Not:
After lunch, she decided to go for a long walk.
But:
After lunch, she went for a long walk.
Dialogue
For more natural dialogue, write in short sentences, use contractions, forgo pleasantries, and compress your dialogue. Edit dialogue to its barest essentials, and don’t overuse names.
Not:
"Well hello there, Jackie. What a pleasure it is to see you again. I was just wondering, Jackie, if I would ever see you again on this trip or if I would have to wait until we got back to London to give you a call."
But:
"Jackie! I wondered if I'd see you again."
More tension in dialogue also makes it snappier and more interesting. Use the following techniques to increase tension:
- Have characters talk at cross purposes, so that one character either misunderstands or is purposely nonresponsive.
Not: "Did Tom find Jack?"
"Yes, I think he did."
But: "Did Tom find Jack?"
"Nobody gets up as early as Jack." Or: "Were you looking for him, too?'
- Avoid direct responses in favour of oblique ones.
Not: "What time were you there?"
"Eight o’clock."
But: "What time were you there?"
"The time is irrelevant. The better question is what can we do about it?"
Going to be
Wordy. Use "will" instead.
Not:
She is going to be angry.
Better:
She will be angry.
"ing" constructions
One way to make writing more polished and sophisticated is to use only occasional participial phrases. There is nothing ungrammatical about a properly placed participial phrase, but beginning writers tend to overuse them. Instead, separate the ideas into two sentences, or use conjunctions to join them.
Not:
Lifting heavy tires all day, he wrenched his back.
But:
His job requires him to lift heavy tires all day. That’s how he wrenched his back.
Not:
Jogging down the street, he saw Shirley and her daughter get into a car.
But:
He jogged down the street and saw Shirley and her daughter get into a car.
I’m not going to
This is wordy. Write “I won’t” instead.
Indenting dialogue
Create a new paragraph when dialogue changes from one character to another. You may add the character's thoughts and actions after their dialogue without beginning a new paragraph.
Intensifiers
These are the words placed before adjectives and adverbs in an attempt to intensify an effect. Search for such words as
very, so, quite, extremely, really, and
absolutely. We're
very hungry. Thank you
so much. The play was
extremely good, etc. Removing them almost always improves the sentence.
Internalization
Showing a character's thoughts through internalizations often helps resolve the problem of too much telling.
Not:
Alice felt frustrated by their slowness because she needed to be home in ten minutes.
But:
Alice checked her watch again. She had to be home in ten minutes. Why wouldn't he get on with the lecture?
It
Be specific and name the "it" wherever possible.
Italicizing internalizations
Use italics sparingly. They're seldom needed for internalizations. You never use quotation marks around thoughts, so readers will understand that the internalization is not spoken. Also, don't have characters speak thoughts to themselves, in the first person, as if another character were present.
Not:
"I've got myself in a real jam this time. But there's a wall up ahead. Maybe I can climb it and get out, but I sure hope there are no dogs on the other side."
But:
Burt massaged his forehead. He'd got himself in a jam this time. Maybe he could climb the wall and get out, presuming there were no dogs on the other side.
Knew
This is another one of those times when you can cut right to the action.
Not:
He knew she'd be right over.
But:
She'd be right over.
Name repetition
People don't often repeat names in real life, so they shouldn't in dialogue.
Overwriting
Remove extraneous details. If you want a character to get in his car and drive away, don't have him insert the key in the lock, twist it, lift the door handle, open the door, and sit. Have him start the car and drive away.
Passive verbs
Too many passive verbs slow and weaken a narrative with wordiness—tighten and strengthen your sentences by naming who did what. This is where your list of creative writing tips will help. Add
is, was, were, am, and
are to your personal checklist and change as many passive verbs as possible to the active form.
Not:
The papers were laid on the desk.
But:
Morgan laid the papers on the desk.
Not:
What was most worrying to her...
But:
What most worried her...
Qualifiers
Like intensifiers, these words qualify adjectives and verbs. Look for such words as
just, sort of, quite, somewhat, usually, always, and
never. They’re unnecessary. Let them proliferate, if they must, as you write the first draft, but weed them out in the second.
Repetition
Don't repeat words in close proximity unless you do it for deliberate effect. Find a synonym for one of them.
Not:
"Okay, I'll meet you at your place." She placed the receiver back in its cradle...
But:
"Okay, I'll meet you at your place." She set the receiver back in its cradle...
Saw/sees that
Wordy and unnecessary.
Not:
He saw that she crossed the street.
But:
She crossed the street.
Seem
Not:
The fruit seemed ripe so he ate it.
But:
He bit into the ripe pear.
Not:
The car seemed to bounce along the road.
But:
The car bounced along the rutted road.
Speaker attributions
If you remove unnecessary speaker attributions, you can also eliminate the "ing" constructions that often follow. For a more polished feel, eliminate as many speaker attributions as possible, and only use them if not using them will confuse readers. Show who speaks through character action, and when you do need a speaker attribution, stick to "said," and "asked."
Never use speaker attributions as verbs meant to convey action. Keep action separate.
Not:
"Take it," Betty said, pushing the book on him.
But:
Betty pushed the book on him. "Take it."
Not:
"I like it that way," Joe coughed, laughing and winking.
But:
"I like it that way." Joe laughed and winked at her.
Thinker's attributions
Don't use "thinker's attributions" in the third person limited POV. If a character internalizes (interior monologue), the context lets readers know his words are thought, not spoken.
Not:
I've got him now, Tom thought.
But:
Tom struggled with his fishing line. There he is, I've got him now.
Things
Always edit the word "thing" or "things" and replace with a more specific word.
