Clean Up Preposition Clutter

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Excerpts from

Painless Writing

by Jeffrey Strausser

Preposition Overuse

• Ruins your style
• Detracts from your hard work
• Creates wordy, confusing sentences

Identifying Prepositions

• Definition: A word used to link a noun to a sentence, and in doing so, relates the noun to either another noun or a verb.
• http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/preposition.htm

Common Prepositions

• By
• Under
• For
• Near
• About
• On
• Against
• To
• With
• Next
• Inside

• Because
• During
• From
• Like
• Over
• In
• Until
• Across
• Above
• Toward
• Outside

How many are too many?

• No easy rule—the real test is in the reading
• If your sentences contain only a few verbs, especially verbs in the passive voice, and many prepositions, your essay is probably wordy and confusing
• If your writing contains 20% to 25% prepositions, you probably have used too many

Painless Technique No. 1 

• Make your writing clearer and more interesting by eliminating unnecessary prepositional phrases.

Prepositional Phrases

• A preposition and a noun acting as the preposition’s object.
• The preposition depicts a relationship to the noun

Examples

• On the beach
• Near the desk
• Against the wind
• From the beginning
• Under the table

• Off the cuff
• During his speech
• Across the continent
• Toward the end
• Until the last

Excessive Use

By virtue of learning to write better, you will open a whole new world with reference to career opportunities. It is of importance that students realize that writers will be needed by the education and business communities. In the present, both of these sectors have expressed disappointment in the writing skills of those employed. Make no mistake about it; people who can write well are demanded by employers everywhere.

Step 1: Eliminate Compound   Prepositional Phrases

• Define: A series of prepositional phrases that act as one preposition
• Examples:
• with regard to
• with respect to
• in reference to
• in connection with
• for the purposes of

Simplify

• Compound
• at that point in time
• by means of
• by reason of
• during the course of
• from the point of view of
• in accordance with
• in relation to
• on the basis of
• with reference to
• for the purposes of
• in favor of
• in terms of

• Simple
• then, now
• by
• because of
• during
• from, for
• by, under
• about, concerning
• by, from
• about, concerning
• for, under
• for
• in

Step 2: Where possible, convert into participles.

• Prepositional Phrase
• In the attempt to
• In the fear of failure
• In response to

• Participle
• Attempting
• Fearing failure
• Responding to

Step 3: Convert to Adverbs

The writer’s novels were of critical acclaim.

The writer’s novels were critically acclaimed.

His actions were under close control.

His actions were closely controlled.

Step 4: Convert to Adjectives

It is the nature of humans to admire beauty.

It is human nature to admire beauty.

The response of the audience was silence.

The audience’s response was silence.

The response of the class to the teacher’s joke was many groans.

The class’s response to the teacher’s joke was many groans.

Step 5: Write in the active voice.

The exam scores were tabulated by the teacher.

The teacher tabulated the exam scores.

The baseball card was purchased by the collector.

The collector purchased the baseball card.

His success was resented by his teammates.

His teammates resented his success.

The grounds were observed by means of hidden cameras.

Hidden cameras observed the grounds.

Applying the 5-step process

• Extreme overuse my require changing the entire paragraph structure.
• You may need to chop a long sentence into two or three sentences,
• or convert several offending simple sentences into a concise compound sentences.
• Remember you can always simply eliminate prepositions if they do not contribute meaning or action.

The 5 Steps

• Replace compound prepositional phrases with simple prepositions.
• Where possible, convert prepositional phrases into participles.
• Where possible, convert prepositional phrases into adverbs.
• Where possible, convert prepositional phrases into adjectives.
• Write selected passive voice sentences in the active.

Identify the Prepositional Phrases

By virtue of learning to write better, you will open a whole new world with reference to career opportunities. It is of importance that students realize that writers will be needed by the education and business communities. In the present, both of these sectors have expressed disappointment in the writing skills of those employed. Make no mistake about it; people who can write well are demanded by employers everywhere.

1^st sentence

By virtue of learning to write better, you will open a whole new world with reference to career opportunities.

Compound prepositional phrase: adds nothing to the sentence, so eliminate it (Step One).

Compound prepositional phrase: convert to participle, regarding (Steps One & Two).

1^st Sentence Rewrite

• Learning to write better will open a whole new world regarding career opportunities.

2^nd sentence  

It is of importance that students realize that writers will be needed by the education and business communities.

Convert to one-word adjective, important (Step Four).

Written in passive voice—rewrite in the active (Step Five).

2^nd sentence rewrite

• Students must realize that the education and business communities will need writers.

3^rd sentence

In the present, both of these sectors have expressed disappointment in the writing skills of those employed.

Convert to adverb, presently (Step Three).

Eliminate.

Combine the two phrases: their employees’ writing skills.

3^rd sentence rewrite

• Presently, both sectors have expressed disappointment in their employee’s writing skills.

Last sentence

Make no mistake about it; people who can write well are demanded by employers everywhere.

Passive voice. Rewrite:

    Employers everywhere are demanding people who can write well.

Last sentence rewrite

Make no mistake about it; employers everywhere are demanding people who can write well.

New paragraph

Learning to write better will open a whole new world regarding career opportunities. Students must realize that the education and business communities will need writers. Presently, both sectors have expressed disappointment in their employee’s writing skills. Make no mistake about it; employers everywhere are demanding people who can write well.