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1) First, instead of narrating actions or emotions, let the other characters do it. Let them describe, let them notice emotions.
"Are you leaving, Jayne?"2) Do, don't tell. If you have chances in the book, use interactive narrative devices instead of talking to the reader.
"Ah, Patricia, you scared me."
"That’s ridiculous. How could my coming out of Peter’s room scare you?"
"I never heard you come into the kitchen. Never mind."
"Are you going out, Jayne? You’ve changed your clothes."
"Yeah, thinking about it. Your hair’s wet. Did you you and Peter shower... together?"
Here is an example: Rather than a character counting to three, the narrator does...thus, the reader counts along with the character.
One-thousand-one, one-thousand-two, one-thousand-three.Source: Brainstormer
He plugged his ears. Any second now. She should see the snake.
One-thousand-four.
She should be screaming by now.
5 comments:
Wonderful examples and great tips.
You've explained this really well, Ann. These are perfect tips on the subject.
Elizabeth
Mystery Writing is Murder
My problem is that sometimes I say so little that the readers can't follow the story.
Great examples. Thank you!
Thank you, guys and I hope you can find the tips helpful in your story.
ann
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