Where to hide a gift

This blog is not about writing... well, actually it is because I'm writing it. So there.

I want to give my husband a gift but I need to find a place to hide it from him. So I was thinking...where in the house could I hide this gift? (which will remain secret in case he actually reads this blog...which I think he doesn't.)

Then it came to me... I should hide it where he never looks.
Here is my list:

1) In the fridge behind the milk.
2) With his car keys or with his wallet. (He can never find those items.)
3) Right in front of his face. (Though, that might get painful holding it there for that long.)
4) Beside any button on the actual telly. (Not beside the remote control though, he'll find that even though he'll waste 15 minutes of his life searching for it and I miss the murder once again on Law and Order... damn him.)
5) Beside the broom or mop.
6) In the garbage bin where he's suppose to place the bag sitting inside the house beside the door, smelling up our front hall. (Which reminds me...)
7) In a pot on the stove. (I was going to write that one but occasionally - around dinner time - he goes to the stove, lifts the lids on the empty pots, and asks 'what are we having?' I get the hint.)
8) Beside me. (He only comes round when he's horny and in that case, he still won't notice the gift.)

If you have any ideas...